Adjusting Focus

So, I'm setting the date back in time to December for this blog post because I failed to write one all last month. Finals and the holidays were busy. So, here we are on January 2nd with a December blog post. Here are the past 12 very odd, exciting, boring, hard, growth-filled months. JANUARY: I started my last semester at community college. I made a goal for myself to raise my hand in at least one class once a week. I think as the months went on, I wasn't as great about it, but the anxiety I had before isn't as great. I raise my hand more and my face doesn't feel like it's on fire, so there's been some big improvements. I also started my first internship. It was definitely nerve wracking at first, but I was so excited to start working. It was really a growing experience and I absolutely loved it. It was freezing cold (I worked on a barn in the middle of winter) and I fell in horse poop mixed with mud. But, when the internship was over and I had completed my ho...

Technically, this should be "The End: Part 5" because I've completed five semesters now, but whatever. SO, I've officially finished school and I'm simultaneously excited and uncomfortable about that. I was looking back on a blog post I wrote after my first semester finished. It's super weird to think how fast time has gone. It kind of freaks me out that I'm graduating soon (9 days from now) and that I really couldn't quite imagine this day coming when I first started. In the beginning it all seemed like it would be super hard, but it hasn't been that bad. I love the major I chose and because of it I've had some really cool opportunities. In the beginning of this whole program I started out as a lot different. Over these past two years I've found more confidence in myself. I've generally figured out what I want to do with my life. I've found actual value in education. I've learned some more about procrastination (but let's...

Yesterday I started my final semester at MWCC. It's kind of a weird feeling to think I'm so close to the end. To be quite honest it freaks me out that I've somehow made it to this point. I feel like I haven't been a part of the program for that long. It's like just yesterday I was sitting in my first class for the first time. Now I'm an (almost) experienced college student. By May 18th I'll be graduated from college! Already I feel kind of overwhelmed, though. There's a lot of paper writing, reading, and in my Human Growth and Development class, 65% of my grade comes from the four tests I'll be taking throughout the semester. I'm really hoping I do well on all four of those tests because even if I do great on the papers I have to write, that 35% will only help me get so far. It all just feels like a lot right now. I keep on telling myself I'll be okay. I've done a lot of hard, challenging things in my life. So when I start to freak out a...

Umm, technically it's "The End Part 4", but I failed to write a post when my summer semester finished. I only took 3 classes, and 2 were online, but it still sort of counts. But since I didn't write a post, here we are. I am glad to announce that I have finished my 4th semester at MWCC. I only have one left before I graduate, which is kind of terrifying and exciting all at once. It's hard to believe that I'll be done with high school and two years of college. A year ago I was just finishing up my first semester... and that thought makes me slightly uncomfortable. At this point I had barely decided what I was going to do with the rest of my college career. Nursing, or human services? In the end, I know I made the right choice for me. All of the classes I have taken related to my major have continued to confirm to me that I am doing the right thing. I know I'm where I'm supposed to be. My college applications have finished, which is a huge relief. ...

This week has been a decently good week, I would say. On Monday I ran 6.5 miles, which was pretty cool. It was pretty rough there for a while, but, I took it slow and did it! My legs were pretty sore the next day but definitely worth it. We'll see if that ever happens again, though... I've been able to manage my homework pretty well and haven't screwed up too badly, which is also pretty nice. I could probably be more efficient with how I get my work done, but at least it always gets finished. I'm still wicked good at procrastinating, but still. I mean, I've managed to get this far in school with decent grades. Along with homework has come the time to start thinking about college and what to do and where to go. While I have been thinking about this since last year (when I entered into college), it just didn't seem as real when I was a junior. It felt so far away. Now, here I am. I have two semesters left and it's time to get my life together and apply. Alt...

I've successfully completed my first (half) week of the Fall semester. I think the majority of my classes will end up going pretty well. I'll be honest, I'm kind of only looking forward to about 3 of the 5, but that's okay. There's only one class I haven't had yet, which would be my Life Sciences class, but that's a Monday night one, so I still have another week until I have to mentally prepare for that mess. I'm excited for it, but I've heard it's supposed to be kind of rough. It's kind of like and introduction to Anatomy & Physiology, which I hope to take next semester. Oh those prerequisites for BYU-I I need.  I had US History II as my first class. It so happens to be from 4:30 until 7:00, so I have almost the entire day to relax... or do homework (joke's on me). My professor's method of getting people to participate is the good ol' elementary way of using popsicle sticks with everyone's names on each stick. As a young...

Before I continue with this post, I just want to thank you all for reading my last blog post , as well as for the support. I was a little hesitant about putting it up at first, but I'm glad I did. So, in December of last year I put up a post about the end of my first semester at MWCC. Now, the end of my second semester has finally come... and to be quite honest, it was as good as I had hoped. I came away with a lot of good lessons and I had amazing professors this semester. My English professor was literally my favorite teacher I've had and his obsession with Elizabeth Strout and her book, Olive Kitteridge , was quite entertaining. And, don't forget Stoner . I had one professor for three of my classes (Sociology, Intro to Human Services, and Psych of Self), which may sound terrible, but she was awesome, and when you have her for some 8:00am classes and the weather is really bad, life is pretty rockin' because you can sleep in for once in your life. Plus, her classes w...

Once again I haven't written a post in a while. I'm not perfect . So with the slight fear that I won't get to writing again for the remainder of the month (we'll see), I'll quickly write this one. You see, not much has happened in my life recently, at least, nothing to report that's of much interest to anyone. I've been waking up, going to seminary, school, volunteering on Tuesdays, running, doing homework, sleeping, and the cycle starts over again. Oh, I'll eat in between those activities, too. I have mutual and piano as well. But still, not too much. Last week I did have spring break which was obviously full of partying and reckless behavior. Or not . I actually spent half of it at home and watching TV, running, and eating. For the second half I went to Michigan with my mom to see my brother and sister-in-law. It was really nice to see them and spend time with the two (three? Baby #1 ). It was also nice because the week before we got to see ...

My psychology of self class has been pretty interesting so far. I've read one chapter of a text book and we watched a movie for three whole class periods. The movie was "The Five People You Meet in Heaven." It was better than I expected. In the beginning I was really unsure of why we were watching it, but in the end, the message was pretty good. Basically the movie was about the main character, Eddie, who had died trying to save a girl's life. He worked at this place called Ruby Pier, where he had worked his entire life fixing rides. He served in the army for a while until he had a leg injury and then shortly after he got married. After he died trying to save the little girl, he ended up in heaven, where he would meet five people who would teach him five different lessons.    In the end, Eddie learned about how he really did have an effect on all of those around him. He didn't realize that the job he hated had saved so many lives. Eddie learned his importance,...

So 2014 was quite the year. I guess I'll do a quick recap of the past 12 months in case anyone is even remotely interested in my adventurous life. I'll add pictures to make everything better. JANUARY: At the end of the month once the semester was over I jumped out of one school and hopped into an old/new one. I made new friends and reconnected with old ones, so that was really nice. David left on his mission which was sad but also amazing all at the same time. FEBRUARY: I finally turned 16 which meant I could finally date. I also got my permit after failing the test the first time... MARCH: Um, I'm sure something happened. APRIL: April was the month of prom.  My first one and I was pretty excited. :) MAY: ??? JUNE: I stepped foot onto GD floors for the last time. I wouldn't be returning for the next year as I would be a part of the MWCC Pathways graduating class of 2016. JULY: Youth conference happened and that was truly a great experience. Everyone worked...

Everything has finally come to a close and I honestly couldn't be more happy. While this semester was good, it was beginning to feel incredibly long and I really just wanted the new semester to start. All in all, I'm glad I can say that I've successfully finished my first semester of college at MWCC. I feel like I've learned a lot since the beginning of September. Going into this semester I was worried what it would be like. I wanted to make new friends and I wanted to learn new things. Part of me was afraid I would end up drowning half way through and I would be the first one to have to leave. I was excited for my classes and excited for the people in the program. I was fortunate to know at least one person heading into Pathways, but everyone else was a stranger. And I just really didn't want to go back to my high school (no offense or anything). Things started to roll and I was handling everything well. I made friends and I felt like everyone in our program see...

I'm probably the worst person at making decisions. When asked what I want for a meal or where to go out, the conversations normally go like this; Me: "Where are we going for dinner?" Mom: "Where do you want to go for dinner?" Me: "I don't care." Mom: "Well what are you in the mood for?" Me: "What are you in the mood for?" Mom: "I'm flexible. Whatever you want." Me: "Well I'm not the only person who lives in this house. Other people eat too." Mom: "Don't you have an opinion?" Me: "No." Mom: "Okay then..." Me: "Well what do you feel like? What are the options?" Mom: "There's Chipotle, Panera, Bull Run... What do you feel like out of those?" Me: "Well... I could go for those salad things from Chipotle. Or I could go for a delicious salad at Panera. OR, I could get that thing I really love from Bull Run." Mom: ...

It's been another successful week of schooling. I'll admit that I've saved a boatload of homework for over the weekend and until Monday and Tuesday, but I just wanted a break. And I have a ton of time tomorrow to do homework before we leave for New Hampshire... again (I feel like I'm always mentioning that place....). I've taken the time to practice the piano almost everyday. I'll be quite honest with ya'll.... it's been wicked good. For once I'm taking the time to really practice and do the things I don't like to do on piano. Like scales, octaves, and arpeggios. I never practiced them until the day of my lessons. I wouldn't really practice the piano intensely and I would do it for a short amount of time. And there would be weeks upon weeks where I wouldn't really practice. It was quite sad, actually. Don't get me wrong, I'm in love with the instrument, I just wasn't pushing myself to become even more in love with it... I was...

Today was my last day of summer so I spent it having a party by myself. I exercised and did some Photoshop... and that's about it. I played a little bit of piano (I just ran through my 3 songs). I did remember that this is my last official summer without school work. Next summer I'll be taking classes (hopefully mostly online) while everyone else is free and sitting around. I just keep on telling myself that I'm graduating with an associates degree  while graduating with a high school diploma. "It'll all be worth it, don't worry." Tomorrow starts a new chapter in life. I'll be a college student and a high school student... all at once.  But I'm wicked excited and a smidge nervous. I also need to figure what room all of my classes are in. And I have class tomorrow. I'm pretty ready for this and I think this choice of schooling was very much what I needed. I was kind of done with the normal high school life and I just wanted something else. I...

I had the opportunity to go to a leadership camp for two days at my new school, Mount Wachusett Community College. I wasn't really looking forward to waking up at 6 in the morning and being there for longer than a school day. In fact, when the mornings came, I honestly considered falling back asleep and acting as if I had forgotten. I knew I had to go, not only because the camp was mandatory, but because I knew that somewhere along the way I would learn something. All I had to do was be open to what people had to say to me. In the end, I learned a few things and gained some knowledge. I noticed a few things and realized that I hadn't wasted 100% of my time. Tuesday was the first day. I really questioned that day afterwards as I reflected on some weird meditation I had to do for like, 10 minutes. "You're in a dark room. You can't see anything. Suddenly, your foot hits something. It's stairs. You climb up the stairs. With each step you think of something that...

My two weeks were super fun. I hung out with my cousin almost everyday and I finally have a room. My walls are all painted! One wall is red and the others are beige (although it turned out a little more grey... I call it greige). I got to spend some time with my parents, which was great. My favorite dog ever, Bella, got to sleep near me on her bed every night too. She's literally my favorite dog out of all the other ones I have ever owned (sorry).  I'm sad it's all over but at least I'm back at my real home with real floors and ceilings. The NH house does look great and my parents worked incredibly hard everyday to get it to where it is currently. I'm grateful for them and their hard work. It has come so  far. So, as you've seen, I've taken a lot of pictures with my cousin within the last two weeks. It seemed like almost everywhere we went we were asking our moms to take pictures of us. One of our last pictures together for a while came from our adventure...