It's no lie that we all have insecurities. We all have those days where something about ourselves just bothers us. I thought about this a lot this morning when I got up to go to seminary. Why? Because just like you, I have insecurities, too (surprise!).
On Monday's and Wednesday's I don't have class until 11am which means I don't really have to leave the house until a little after 10. Most Monday mornings I throw on something easy and put on a little makeup and then wear my glasses. The first time I did this I felt weirdly self-conscious. It made no sense and there was absolutely no reason to. I thought about this later and thought that maybe it was the fact that I was wearing glasses and didn't have any mascara on. Silly, right? Well we all have little things that bother us sometimes. Now, I really don't care as I don't have to impress anyone but myself. Monday mornings are something I look forward to when I don't have to stick contacts onto my half-opened eyes and take a long time to put on mascara.
I tried this newish thing for me last Friday... My hair was put up in some kind of a bun that I really debated about with myself that morning. In fact, it took me so long as to really decide if I was going to push myself through the day with my hair up, that I was much later to seminary than I normally am. I hardly ever do this whole hair up thing and have probably only done it like two or three times this year. I think I hate it so much because I really enjoy being able to hide behind my hair (it's also getting longer and a lot more fun to just play with during class... lame I know). In the end, I decided that I was already going to be fifteen minutes late to seminary and that if I took it down I would need to straighten it, so I just said, "Whatever", and left the house. It was really weird for me to have everyone see my full face and for a while I kind of felt wicked uncomfortable and wanted to take it down. I tried this when I got to school before I went to the library. I put my hair down and it looked like some terrible bird's nest, going in every direction, with a big poof. It was a sign that I needed to get over my insecurities and just put my hair up for once. So, I fixed the bun three times before I was decently pleased with it, and left. I got home and my lovely mother told me that I should wear my hair up more often so people could really see my face (she added more kind words in there, but I'm summing things up here). It was really nice and it made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.
I feel like sometimes I let my insecurities just get in the way. Recently I've just tried to not let them. It's kinda hard because there's days where they just feel like they're always there hovering, but I know that there are people around me who love me. I know that we all have worth and importance.
I remember when I was in 8th grade and (among other things I was dealing with deep down) I really struggled with my self-image. I was really unhappy with myself. I weighed under 100 pounds (97-98 to be exact). If I ever stepped over to 99 I hated to look at myself in the mirror. I remember once I weighed 101 and I cried about it because I was so frustrated and mad at myself. I felt better once an old friend of mine commented on how skinny and small I was. It's really sad to look back on now. It's sad for me to remember that I was so down about myself and I didn't love me for me. It's sad that I would never eat lunch and hardly ever ate breakfast. I stopped myself from being happy because I wasn't confident and I was so insecure.
Now, insecurities aren't necessarily a bad thing. They may bring us down sometimes but when we do something anyway even though we may feel insecure about it, it's a great feeling. Insecurities are just a part of life. We are who we are no matter what. We should love ourselves because we are full of insecurities and we aren't perfect! We're all important and we all have worth. People love us no matter what because "we're not good, we're super."
We all get down sometimes. We all feel happy sometimes. We all feel in the middle sometimes. But no matter what we feel we have people around us who just love us FOR WHO WE ARE. We're not perfect. We're far from it. We're a flawed people but we still learn to love others and ourselves.
Today's quote:
"Find beauty in everything."
---Maggie
Now, insecurities aren't necessarily a bad thing. They may bring us down sometimes but when we do something anyway even though we may feel insecure about it, it's a great feeling. Insecurities are just a part of life. We are who we are no matter what. We should love ourselves because we are full of insecurities and we aren't perfect! We're all important and we all have worth. People love us no matter what because "we're not good, we're super."
We all get down sometimes. We all feel happy sometimes. We all feel in the middle sometimes. But no matter what we feel we have people around us who just love us FOR WHO WE ARE. We're not perfect. We're far from it. We're a flawed people but we still learn to love others and ourselves.
Today's quote:
"Find beauty in everything."
---Maggie
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