On July 29th, 2014, my sixteen year old self sat at my old laptop and began writing my first post as an amateur "blogger." I'd been wanting a blog for a while, mainly because I love writing, and because I had so many thoughts in my head-I wanted a place to express them. This blog was a way for people to look into my mind, my heart, and discover a part of me they didn't know much about. The only real problem was, I was sixteen and pretty clueless about the world, and I had a mother who I thought needed to approve of the idea first.
I remember rehearsing how I would bring it up to her, how I would make it seem like a worthwhile thing. I was nervous about talking to her about it. When I did, she thought it was a good idea. So, I began taking the first steps. I looked for something to inspire me, something that would be the theme of this blog. In my short sixteen years I'd faced a lot and was starting to overcome my seemingly never-ending battle with anxiety and depression. I was tired of being too scared to say what I thought. I had life experiences I wanted to share with others in hopes I wasn't the only one, and I wanted others to know they weren't the only ones.
I stumbled upon this quote: When life gets blurry, adjust your focus. I spent a lot of my life trying to find the positive, trust in God and not give up. So, it seemed fitting that my blog would only do the same. "Adjusting Focus" was born.
Five years later I don't get thousands of reads and I'm still using Blogger, and sometimes on mobile the blog layout looks a lil' crazy. I've started a new Instagram account with a few 36 followers. But despite the fact Adjusting Focus isn't "big", the few people I've touched along the way, the few who've reached out and said a 'thank you' or 'I'm glad I'm not the only one' has made this entire thing worth it. Those who have said they appreciate my blog and appreciate my thoughts and openness have helped me continue this whole thing over these 5 years. I thought once I came back from my mission I would stop and Adjusting Focus would be a thing of the past, but as I struggled with coming home, I had to adjust my focus. I had to remind myself of all the things I'd told people over nearly 19 months of serving God, and I had to remember what I've shared with you all. I couldn't leave it behind forever. And I'm so glad I made the decision to keep going with this thing. It's brought about some good conversations with friends and it's helped people understand me.
For so long I spent my life hiding. I didn't say a lot. I was pushed into the background by groups as a teenager and I was constantly afraid of what people thought of me. I was afraid to talk about race, about my adoption, about depression and anxiety, and any other thing I've ever written about on this blog. I couldn't let people see my struggle. Adjusting Focus has helped me find my voice. It's helped me to stop caring what other people think of me. It's helped me to "speak out."
We are constantly bombarded with the "perfect" lives of those around us. There are picturesque blogs and travel Instagram accounts that make us think people live dream lives, always happy. That's not always the truth, though. We all go through ups and downs, tossed with waves that sometimes seem so big we feel like we're drowning, barely holding on. Then, just as we feel we can't take another breath, the storm parts.
Our lives can feel pretty crappy and the world around us can be the same. And like the "perfect" lives we think we see, we also tend to focus a lot on the bad. We dig ourselves into these holes and the news tells us it's not going to get any better. Adjusting Focus is to be the balance. It's to say, "Here's the bad, and here's the good despite that."
There have been times I've been worried about exposing so much of my inner self on the internet. But it's been a way for me to stretch myself and find out who I am. It's been a journey.
I'm grateful for those who stop to read these posts, who stop me in person to tell me they read it, who reach out. A lot of this blog is just for me, so I can express myself, but it's also to help people see they're not alone. It's to give hope for a brighter future.
Five years ago, I couldn't have imagined how far my life would come. I started "new things," started an early college program, shared my writing, graduated high school/community college, traveled to my first home , got real about adoption, went to college across the country, left on a mission, and came home to realize I had no idea who I was anymore. A lot has happened- good and bad. And I wouldn't change any of it.
Thank you for reading, for sharing, for sticking with me. I hope this blog will see more growth in the next five years. I hope you find the truth in the message and you find you're never alone in your battles.
Every post I end with a quote. I think sometimes they're pretty cheesy, but I've always loved them for some reason. They tend to stick with me. So here's today's quote, a reminder for us all:
As always, thanks for reading!
---Maggie
I remember rehearsing how I would bring it up to her, how I would make it seem like a worthwhile thing. I was nervous about talking to her about it. When I did, she thought it was a good idea. So, I began taking the first steps. I looked for something to inspire me, something that would be the theme of this blog. In my short sixteen years I'd faced a lot and was starting to overcome my seemingly never-ending battle with anxiety and depression. I was tired of being too scared to say what I thought. I had life experiences I wanted to share with others in hopes I wasn't the only one, and I wanted others to know they weren't the only ones.
I stumbled upon this quote: When life gets blurry, adjust your focus. I spent a lot of my life trying to find the positive, trust in God and not give up. So, it seemed fitting that my blog would only do the same. "Adjusting Focus" was born.
Five years later I don't get thousands of reads and I'm still using Blogger, and sometimes on mobile the blog layout looks a lil' crazy. I've started a new Instagram account with a few 36 followers. But despite the fact Adjusting Focus isn't "big", the few people I've touched along the way, the few who've reached out and said a 'thank you' or 'I'm glad I'm not the only one' has made this entire thing worth it. Those who have said they appreciate my blog and appreciate my thoughts and openness have helped me continue this whole thing over these 5 years. I thought once I came back from my mission I would stop and Adjusting Focus would be a thing of the past, but as I struggled with coming home, I had to adjust my focus. I had to remind myself of all the things I'd told people over nearly 19 months of serving God, and I had to remember what I've shared with you all. I couldn't leave it behind forever. And I'm so glad I made the decision to keep going with this thing. It's brought about some good conversations with friends and it's helped people understand me.
For so long I spent my life hiding. I didn't say a lot. I was pushed into the background by groups as a teenager and I was constantly afraid of what people thought of me. I was afraid to talk about race, about my adoption, about depression and anxiety, and any other thing I've ever written about on this blog. I couldn't let people see my struggle. Adjusting Focus has helped me find my voice. It's helped me to stop caring what other people think of me. It's helped me to "speak out."We are constantly bombarded with the "perfect" lives of those around us. There are picturesque blogs and travel Instagram accounts that make us think people live dream lives, always happy. That's not always the truth, though. We all go through ups and downs, tossed with waves that sometimes seem so big we feel like we're drowning, barely holding on. Then, just as we feel we can't take another breath, the storm parts.
Our lives can feel pretty crappy and the world around us can be the same. And like the "perfect" lives we think we see, we also tend to focus a lot on the bad. We dig ourselves into these holes and the news tells us it's not going to get any better. Adjusting Focus is to be the balance. It's to say, "Here's the bad, and here's the good despite that."
There have been times I've been worried about exposing so much of my inner self on the internet. But it's been a way for me to stretch myself and find out who I am. It's been a journey.
I'm grateful for those who stop to read these posts, who stop me in person to tell me they read it, who reach out. A lot of this blog is just for me, so I can express myself, but it's also to help people see they're not alone. It's to give hope for a brighter future.
Five years ago, I couldn't have imagined how far my life would come. I started "new things," started an early college program, shared my writing, graduated high school/community college, traveled to my first home , got real about adoption, went to college across the country, left on a mission, and came home to realize I had no idea who I was anymore. A lot has happened- good and bad. And I wouldn't change any of it.
Thank you for reading, for sharing, for sticking with me. I hope this blog will see more growth in the next five years. I hope you find the truth in the message and you find you're never alone in your battles.
Every post I end with a quote. I think sometimes they're pretty cheesy, but I've always loved them for some reason. They tend to stick with me. So here's today's quote, a reminder for us all:
As always, thanks for reading!
---Maggie
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