Adjusting Focus

My mission papers were submitted within the first few weeks of returning back to BYU-I. A couple weeks later, when I was hoping my call would arrive, I was notified I needed a pre-mission evaluation. In that moment, my heart was slightly crushed. I wasn't sure how long it would take to get an appointment with LDS Family Services and how much it would push my call back. I called as soon as I could and got an appointment as soon as possible, even if it meant missing a class. After the evaluation (which basically just checked to see if I would be emotionally fit for a mission- I had to discuss my struggles with depression, anxiety, etc.) my papers would need to be resubmitted. I expected it to take another couple weeks. I checked the mail often. For a while there was nothing. Once the call was finally sent, I checked the mail pretty much every day. I continued to feel down and discouraged about the lack of getting the call. I knew of a good amount of people who'd gotten their cal...

As a little girl, the idea of serving a mission was something I desperately wanted to do. The older I got, the less this seemed to be. I just stopped thinking about it. But years later, my first youth conference focused on missionary work. I was paired with another girl and we would be 'companions'. We taught a lesson to some stranger, I felt the spirit, and bore my testimony at the end of the weekend. I said how that experience, the whole three days, showed me that being a missionary was something I wanted to do again, despite how much the idea of being away from home scared me. Once again, time seemed to fade that idea. For one Wednesday night activity we went to a zone conference, or something along those lines. A ginormous group of sisters and elders were gathered, with some extra people sitting in rows behind them. At some point, one of the elders was bearing his testimony. It was then that I had this overwhelming  feeling that I had to serve a mission. At the exact mome...