Two days ago, Adjusting Focus had it's two year anniversary! And though I am somewhat disappointed in myself that though the date was in my calendar and I forgot to write a blog post, I'm going to forgive myself because I'm writing one now.
Over the past two years, I have been able to express a lot about myself through this blog. As someone who tends to be very quiet, introverted, and anxious when it comes to talking and sharing my thoughts and feelings to others, this blog has been an extremely helpful way for me to let people in on what goes through my mind sometimes. Adjusting Focus has, in all honesty, had a ginormous impact on my life. It's changed the way I think about things, and I'm always finding myself trying to think of what I can share with all of you, as well as how I can express myself in written word. It's been an outlet for me.
There's always been some part of me that's wanted to have a blog. I didn't think I had anything particularly interesting or worthwhile to say, and at the start of it all, I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted my focus to be. All I knew, is that I wanted to start one, and I wanted it to be a way that I could express myself. So, while scrolling through my Pinterest board of quotes, I found one that really resonated with me. "When life gets blurry, adjust your focus," is a message that has been repeated throughout my life. It hasn't been an easy 18 years. Only recently have I felt that my life is finally somewhat stable, especially emotionally. I've spent a lot of my time being depressed, sad, and angry at the world. But, at the end of each day, week, month, and year, I got through whatever it was I was going through. It was my family and the gospel, the knowledge that Christ lives and He loves me, that has gotten me to where I am today. They were the ones I could focus on when my life got 'blurry.' So, when I found this quote, I decided my blog would be dedicated to focusing on all that is good, when it feels as though everything is going completely wrong with life. It's so easy to be negative and say, "This sucks," or ask, "What did I do to deserve this?", or "There's nothing to be happy about." As a kid I used to think my life was the hardest life anyone has ever had to live. As I've gotten older, I realize this isn't true, but in my moments of weakness, when I feel all is lost, it is still easy for me to say, "There is no hope." Still, I try to find the strength again to believe there is hope. I've always tried to find the strength to believe there is hope even if I don't feel there is, because my life has been spent on people not losing hope in me. So, I have to believe in myself. I have to find the good to survive. I have to believe that when everything is going horribly wrong, it'll find a way to be okay again.
This blog has actually started to instill some amount of guilt in me when I'm extra negative about life. I kind of feel like a hypocrite, honestly. But, at a counseling session one evening, I was told that it was okay to feel sad about things. It was fine to go through some grief and pain. I don't have to force myself to be happy all the time. It was a good reminder, because there has been some amount of pressure that I've bestowed upon myself to be happy and positive all the time. So, while it's important to find the good, to be positive when life isn't going all too well, it's also okay to still feel a little down at the end of the day. For example, I can be sad about going away to college and have that period of time when I feel a little bit of a loss as I leave my home and parents, and that's okay. But, it's also still important to not be completely negative about what my experience will be, because I have no clue what will happen, and if I'm too negative and too sad about it, it'll be even harder to leave. Basically, there still needs to be a good balance between the two.
I'm grateful for all of you who've taken the time to read my posts. Though I would prefer to write down my emotions, thoughts, and feelings all on a computer instead of sharing them in a conversation, it's still a little challenging to expose yourself this way, too. And as we've all learned in school, once you put something on the internet, it never goes away. So, a little horrifying, but that's okay.
Today's quote is the message I hope you find somewhere on this blog. It's something I believe goes hand-in-hand with that which I've chosen to title my blog after.
Over the past two years, I have been able to express a lot about myself through this blog. As someone who tends to be very quiet, introverted, and anxious when it comes to talking and sharing my thoughts and feelings to others, this blog has been an extremely helpful way for me to let people in on what goes through my mind sometimes. Adjusting Focus has, in all honesty, had a ginormous impact on my life. It's changed the way I think about things, and I'm always finding myself trying to think of what I can share with all of you, as well as how I can express myself in written word. It's been an outlet for me.
There's always been some part of me that's wanted to have a blog. I didn't think I had anything particularly interesting or worthwhile to say, and at the start of it all, I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted my focus to be. All I knew, is that I wanted to start one, and I wanted it to be a way that I could express myself. So, while scrolling through my Pinterest board of quotes, I found one that really resonated with me. "When life gets blurry, adjust your focus," is a message that has been repeated throughout my life. It hasn't been an easy 18 years. Only recently have I felt that my life is finally somewhat stable, especially emotionally. I've spent a lot of my time being depressed, sad, and angry at the world. But, at the end of each day, week, month, and year, I got through whatever it was I was going through. It was my family and the gospel, the knowledge that Christ lives and He loves me, that has gotten me to where I am today. They were the ones I could focus on when my life got 'blurry.' So, when I found this quote, I decided my blog would be dedicated to focusing on all that is good, when it feels as though everything is going completely wrong with life. It's so easy to be negative and say, "This sucks," or ask, "What did I do to deserve this?", or "There's nothing to be happy about." As a kid I used to think my life was the hardest life anyone has ever had to live. As I've gotten older, I realize this isn't true, but in my moments of weakness, when I feel all is lost, it is still easy for me to say, "There is no hope." Still, I try to find the strength again to believe there is hope. I've always tried to find the strength to believe there is hope even if I don't feel there is, because my life has been spent on people not losing hope in me. So, I have to believe in myself. I have to find the good to survive. I have to believe that when everything is going horribly wrong, it'll find a way to be okay again.
This blog has actually started to instill some amount of guilt in me when I'm extra negative about life. I kind of feel like a hypocrite, honestly. But, at a counseling session one evening, I was told that it was okay to feel sad about things. It was fine to go through some grief and pain. I don't have to force myself to be happy all the time. It was a good reminder, because there has been some amount of pressure that I've bestowed upon myself to be happy and positive all the time. So, while it's important to find the good, to be positive when life isn't going all too well, it's also okay to still feel a little down at the end of the day. For example, I can be sad about going away to college and have that period of time when I feel a little bit of a loss as I leave my home and parents, and that's okay. But, it's also still important to not be completely negative about what my experience will be, because I have no clue what will happen, and if I'm too negative and too sad about it, it'll be even harder to leave. Basically, there still needs to be a good balance between the two.
I'm grateful for all of you who've taken the time to read my posts. Though I would prefer to write down my emotions, thoughts, and feelings all on a computer instead of sharing them in a conversation, it's still a little challenging to expose yourself this way, too. And as we've all learned in school, once you put something on the internet, it never goes away. So, a little horrifying, but that's okay.
Today's quote is the message I hope you find somewhere on this blog. It's something I believe goes hand-in-hand with that which I've chosen to title my blog after.
As usual, thanks for reading!
---Maggie
Comments
Post a Comment