I've been thinking about a topic for my next blog post, but honestly it's been kind of hard. I've been feeling pretty negative lately. There's been a lot of changes recently, both good and bad, and the stress of all of those has started to feel quite overwhelming. I've forgotten my motto here on this blog- I'm not adjusting my focus. Instead, I'm staying in my pessimistic state.
When it comes to college, the only thing I'm excited about is taking my classes. For all of the social things that await me, well, I could really hold off on all of those and be perfectly fine. My social anxiety has caused me to already feel the stress of finding new friends, participating in various activities, and being in an entirely new place. My separation anxiety has caused my to feel a ginormous wave of sorrow when I think about leaving my parents. I get extremely uncomfortable when I think about not being able to spend nights with my parents and spend time laughing with them, playing games, going out, or watching TV. The thought of not eating dinner together every night makes me want to cry a little bit, to be honest. I'm extremely distraught about leaving them. It kind of feels like my world is ending. Just a little. And then I think about how I'll be leaving on a mission in a year, and then I'll go back out to college after that, probably get married at some point, and this nice period of time, where I can spend a lot of time with my parents, will be over as soon as my brother and I leave the driveway in September. I greatly dislike the thought of it all, really. So trying to find the positives during this time is not an easy task. People tell me I'll have fun and I'm sure I will. But for right now, the whole thought of college in Idaho is very unsettling.
I've been awfully tired from long days at work. I have to be constantly interacting with people, which for someone like me, is extremely exhausting. I have to interact with customers, talk with them, and talk with my coworkers. By the end of my shift and the end of the week, all I want to do is sleep. The thing is, I only have a part time job, so I feel a little guilty because I only work 3-4 days a week, 6-8 hour shifts. It's not like it should be that hard, but for some reason, it's a challenge for me.
These things, along with a few other things, have been a stressor for me. I am glad I have a job, and it's nice to be earning money. I do believe that Idaho will be truly great. But right now, I would be fine if time froze and I could just stay here, at home, with my parents, for a little longer. I know that won't happen and I'll be gone, with some random roommate in an entirely new place. But, I'll have my brother, and technology is a thing so I can text, Skype, and whatever my parents whenever I want. So, while I feel like there's a lot to be pretty negative (and scared) about, there are some good things that await me. I just have to remind myself to think about those more than the "everything as I know it is ending" things. As Elder Holland said, "Keep your chin up, trust in God, and believe in good things to come."
Being negative isn't helpful, and I don't want to spend the rest of my summer worrying about all of the changes that are going to be happening. I need to continue to learn and grow, and enjoy my time. I'm extremely grateful for my parents and their loving words and support. The past several weeks have been a lot as graduations happened, the start of a new job, and summer begins. I will continue to rely on my Savior and work on remaining positive as best as I can as...
Thanks for reading!
When it comes to college, the only thing I'm excited about is taking my classes. For all of the social things that await me, well, I could really hold off on all of those and be perfectly fine. My social anxiety has caused me to already feel the stress of finding new friends, participating in various activities, and being in an entirely new place. My separation anxiety has caused my to feel a ginormous wave of sorrow when I think about leaving my parents. I get extremely uncomfortable when I think about not being able to spend nights with my parents and spend time laughing with them, playing games, going out, or watching TV. The thought of not eating dinner together every night makes me want to cry a little bit, to be honest. I'm extremely distraught about leaving them. It kind of feels like my world is ending. Just a little. And then I think about how I'll be leaving on a mission in a year, and then I'll go back out to college after that, probably get married at some point, and this nice period of time, where I can spend a lot of time with my parents, will be over as soon as my brother and I leave the driveway in September. I greatly dislike the thought of it all, really. So trying to find the positives during this time is not an easy task. People tell me I'll have fun and I'm sure I will. But for right now, the whole thought of college in Idaho is very unsettling.
I've been awfully tired from long days at work. I have to be constantly interacting with people, which for someone like me, is extremely exhausting. I have to interact with customers, talk with them, and talk with my coworkers. By the end of my shift and the end of the week, all I want to do is sleep. The thing is, I only have a part time job, so I feel a little guilty because I only work 3-4 days a week, 6-8 hour shifts. It's not like it should be that hard, but for some reason, it's a challenge for me.
These things, along with a few other things, have been a stressor for me. I am glad I have a job, and it's nice to be earning money. I do believe that Idaho will be truly great. But right now, I would be fine if time froze and I could just stay here, at home, with my parents, for a little longer. I know that won't happen and I'll be gone, with some random roommate in an entirely new place. But, I'll have my brother, and technology is a thing so I can text, Skype, and whatever my parents whenever I want. So, while I feel like there's a lot to be pretty negative (and scared) about, there are some good things that await me. I just have to remind myself to think about those more than the "everything as I know it is ending" things. As Elder Holland said, "Keep your chin up, trust in God, and believe in good things to come."
Being negative isn't helpful, and I don't want to spend the rest of my summer worrying about all of the changes that are going to be happening. I need to continue to learn and grow, and enjoy my time. I'm extremely grateful for my parents and their loving words and support. The past several weeks have been a lot as graduations happened, the start of a new job, and summer begins. I will continue to rely on my Savior and work on remaining positive as best as I can as...
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| Have faith!! |
---Maggie
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