Adjusting Focus

I wrote a little poem last night after stake conference. The theme was the atonement, and during the meeting I thought of the first part, and after it was over, I wrote the rest. Hopefully you like it! Through Him   I have stepped on shards of glass And been healed Only to step on a thousand nails  I have walked with the sun shining And I have walked in the midst of a storm  I have taken the wrong path When I thought I was right  I have lost something precious along the way Even though I held it close to my heart  I have sinned And been forgiven Only to have sinned again Because I am quick to give in  I have had joy Only for it to be taken away by something out of my control  I have messed up Because I have let my pride get in the way  I have experienced loss of family and friends Even though I have loved them  I have traveled for many miles And I will travel for many more  I have lived for many years ...

I've been thinking about a topic for my next blog post, but honestly it's been kind of hard. I've been feeling pretty negative lately. There's been a lot of changes recently, both good and bad, and the stress of all of those has started to feel quite overwhelming. I've forgotten my motto here on this blog- I'm not adjusting my focus. Instead, I'm staying in my pessimistic state. When it comes to college, the only thing I'm excited about is taking my classes. For all of the social things that await me, well, I could really hold off on all of those and be perfectly fine. My social anxiety has caused me to already feel the stress of finding new friends, participating in various activities, and being in an entirely new place. My separation anxiety has caused my to feel a ginormous wave of sorrow when I think about leaving my parents. I get extremely uncomfortable when I think about not being able to spend nights with my parents and spend time laughing with ...

As I write this I want you all to know that similar to my adoption post , this post is from my perspective as not only someone who is adopted, but also someone of color. What I am about to write is from what I've experienced, and I do not speak for every adopted child, or person of color. Also like my adoption post, I would like to apologize for how wordy and perhaps not too coherent this post will be. Of course, I check to go back and edit for spelling and technical things like that, but sometimes my train of thought makes more sense to me than it does to others (sometimes... more like often). Anyway, here it goes. I've been looking for something to write, as usual, and yesterday I found my topic(s): being in between two cultures and being brown. Yesterday I went to a counseling session and one of the things I brought up was my trip to Guatemala this summer. I've had some concerns about the emotional toll that will probably take on me for the first few days I'm back ...